Do you ever get tired of hearing "Be strong" or "I know you are going through a lot but remember that someone is going through worse"? To be honest, I am tired of hearing this from people who think they know me or have a fair idea of my daily struggle.
One important life lesson I've had to learn is not to trivialize how people feel. To intentionally or inadvertently absolve ourselves from our actions, we tend to trivialize the feelings of people who open up to us. I remember in my second year of university I had to take Economics 101 and 102 as a requirement for International Relations. If you know me you know I hate mathematics, statistics and anything that requires a calculator. I remember having no time to study for the other four courses I was taking because I spent hours trying to understand what Econ was about. At this point I realized I was on the verge of failing second year so I decided to talk to an older friend who had gone through undergrad just to hear how she was able to handle the pressure without wanting to drop out. I started the conversation by saying "school is not going well and I think I am depressed". I do not think I will forget how she quickly dismissed what I told her by saying "Africans do not get depressed, stop saying that".
Why do we feel the need to do this? Why are we so quick to trivialize the feelings of people who choose to open up to us just because we do not understand how they feel or we think it is a way to make them feel better rather than just listening to them? I have seen countless tweets and Facebook posts that encourage people to check on their friends but what is the point of this if their feelings are going to be dismissed?
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