Let me start by saying 2019 was a hard year for me. Right at the start of the year, I had to deal with the loss of someone very close me, graduating from university with good grades, finding an apartment in Vancouver and then finding a good job to pay my ridiculously expensive rent, bills and fund my baby girl lifestyle. It got to a point where I felt if I was able to get through all that, then I'd be able to handle anything else life threw at me. However, little did I know 2020 paid for a front-row ticket to look at me like...
This quarantine/partial lockdown period has been extremely hard for me. I am starting to believe this life thing is not for some people and I am unfortunately part of that unlucky group. Just like in 2019, I have to go through the pain of losing 2 major things in my life. You see, unlike 2019 when I had university to occupy my thoughts and keep me busy, it is different in 2020. I am out of university, I do not work anymore and I am tired of binge-watching Grey's Anatomy and Friends on Netflix. My boredom continuously forces me to do some self-reflection which inevitably leads to the bane of my existence, overthinking.
I have come to realize that I have to focus on fixing me because sometimes I am the problem and as human as I am this has been very hard to admit. I try to protect myself from getting hurt by being invulnerable but that never ends well because what I try to avoid is what comes knocking on my door. At the same time, I try not to be too hard on myself because I realize that I am not perfect. At least, admitting that is the first step right?
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